


Come Out Dancing

by 27noir



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 18:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27noir/pseuds/27noir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best time to have this conversation, Remus thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Out Dancing

**Author's Note:**

> Written originally in Feb 2012, mostly because I wanted to have Remus and Sirius dance, and then it kind of really got away from me. I am aware of the discrepancies in the musical timeline with the release of Bowie's albums. I couldn't help myself.

“We should tell them.”

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best time to have this conversation, Remus thought. They had just come back from depositing James fairly unceremoniously on the couch in his flat, since James was quite smashed and it was the night before his wedding. Sirius, too, was a rather intoxicated, but was inexplicably able to hold his alcohol much better than anyone they knew so he could at least stand up and move about with knocking into things. Though, perhaps not sober enough to talk about the fact that they still hadn’t told James or Lily or Peter that they had been seeing each other seriously for nearly a year now.

“Seeing each other” might have been the wrong term to use, thought Remus, who was far too sober. By popular vote he had been elected to make sure everyone got home without splinching themselves, and thus had been cut off after about 10 pm. He had taken Sirius home last because, by convenience, they shared the same flat. And that was exactly Remus’ point. They had been living together only slightly, then they had been together in that sense of the word, and yet they hadn’t gotten around to ever telling their friends about it. The first time they fucked had been in this apartment—not that James and Lily needed to know about that particular fact.

“Tell who what?” Said Sirius, who was shedding clothes about the living room, his worn leather jacket on the back of the couch, boots and socks leaving a trail from the front door. His shirt was also gone, Remus noticed, which clearly meant Sirius knew  _exactly_  what he was talking about and was hoping to avoid the conversation and take Remus straight to bed. Sirius leaned against the back of their sagging couch, dark jeans sitting low on his hips, and messy dark hair framing his face. Remus sighed. Usually, he would have hate to have admitted, this tactic worked. Remus would just give in because he didn’t want to fight, not really, and because he  _always_  gave in to Sirius. He’s been giving into Sirius since he was eleven. Even moving in with Sirius Remus had given up his pride and let himself live mostly off Sirius’ generosity. There was something about the boy that made everything in him just melt, including, apparently, his spine.

Tonight, Remus decided, this was not going to happen. Tonight would be different. Tonight they would have this discussion, and, come hell or high water, Remus was going to win it.

He found Sirius’ shirt and tossed it back at him. “Put that back on.”

Sirius looked at him dumbfounded. “It,” Remus gestured vaguely at the entirety of Sirius’ body, “is distracting and I’d rather not be distracted right now.”

“I’d really rather you were distracted,” muttered Sirius. But he put the shirt back on, either from the look in Remus’ eye, or the realization that whether they had this discussion or not, he probably wasn’t going to get any tonight. He pulled out a cigarette and began to smoke it, clearly pouting.

“We should tell James and Lily about us. And Peter.” He added after a moment. They rarely saw Peter these days, and sometime it was hard to not think of adding him as an after thought.

“What’s there to tell?” said Sirius. “I mean, they’ve known us since we were eleven. I’m pretty sure they know we exist. I think they might even know what your favorite color is, and who I dated for two weeks after New Years in sixth year. There isn’t much else to tell, really.” 

“You know exactly what I mean. Sirius we’ve been together for nearly a year and we haven’t told our best friends. It’s getting a little ridiculous.”

“Why do they need to know?” Sirius said, looking at this feet. The look on his face was something even Remus couldn’t read.

“They're our friends, Sirius! These are things you tell your friends. This, what we have, it’s something you share with the people you love.” Sirius wouldn’t look at him, suddenly extremely interested in his cigarette.  “What are you afraid of?” Remus said softly.

Sirius looked him in the eye, slightly pained. “You didn’t tell us that you were a werewolf.”

Remus paled. “What?” he said in disbelief.

“In school, you didn’t tell us that you were a werewolf. We had to tell you that we knew.”

“That… that was different.” Remus sputtered, thrown off by the turn in the conversation. “Besides, I would have told you…”

“You really would have told us?” Sirius’ voice rose a little bit. He muttered something that sounded a bit like,  _don’t believe a word of it,_ and Remus something burn in the back of his throat. “And how is it different, really?”

“It’s very different! Being gay and being a werewolf are completely different!” Sirius raised his eyebrows at Remus, and Remus got the impression that the alcohol was beginning to wear off. “No one’s bloody life’s at stake, for one.”

“You’ve never hurt anyone.”

“Except that time where I nearly chewed Snape to little pieces!”

Sirius paled. Then colored, partly in shame, but mostly in anger. “I thought we’d gotten past that,” he said coldly.

“Shit. Sirius, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” Remus sighed in frustration. “It’s just not the same, Sirius. They aren’t going to put our names on a fucking registry and track us like animals.”

“So, you think people aren’t going to treat us different once they know?” Sirius growled at him. “You think we can go out there and  _be together_ and no one will notice? Do you really think they will treat us the same once they find out we’re a couple of shirtlifters?”

“Did you treat me any different when you found out I was a werewolf?” Remus said quietly. Sirius looked pained, but stared at the floor.

Remus suddenly took Sirius face roughly in his hands, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “Sirius, I don’t want to hide from our friends anymore. I don’t want to skirt around the truth.” His voice was rough, like he had been shouting. “I want to go out and be  _with you_  and I don’t want to give a fuck about who sees us. It’s getting claustrophobic, knowing that this flat is the only place I can feel free enough to love you.”

Sirius bit his lip. “James,” he said so quietly. “Remus, James... he’s my brother, I don’t want to risk losing him.”

Remus stepped back, ever so slightly. “But you’d risk losing me?” Sirius paled considerably, opening his mouth to say something but no sound came out. Remus let go of Sirius, and gathered up his coat again, pulling it on.

He got to the door before Sirius moved. “ _Remus—“_ he started, but Remus gave him a look and he stopped.

Remus stood in the door way for a moment. Then he laughed without a hint of humor. “Is it so terrible that some day I’d like to dance with you at someone’s wedding?”

He slammed the door as he left. 

…

  

“But Moony,” Sirius whispered later to the empty space beside him in bed. His cheeks burned from the night’s consumption alcohol and the argument. “I’m scared. I’m scared of what they’ll do to us. I’m scared of what they’ll do to you. You’ve gotten used to brushing off the looks people give you about your scars and your thread bare clothes, but I still see them. I don’t want to give people another reason to look at you like that.”

He didn’t hear Remus come in that night.

…

 

Sirius arrived at the wedding on time, but alone. Remus had gone when he woke up achingly alone in the small bed. The only evidence that he had returned at all the night before was the rumple blanket on the couch and a half drunk mug of tea in the kitchen, still vaguely warm. Sirius showered, donned his dress robes and appariated without breakfast. 

The Potters’ back yard had been transformed with tents and ribbons and lanterns. James' mother was speaking to a red haired woman whom Sirius could only guess was Lily's mother. Mrs. Potter gave him a friendly smile as he passed, which he returned before sneaking into the kitchen to look for James.

He found James in his childhood room, staring at himself in the mirror. Sirius could have sworn that he saw James try to pat down his hair, as if he could tame it after all these years. James caught Sirius' reflection in the mirror and grinned.

"Padfoot! My good man, you're here!"

"What, did you think I wouldn't show up to see you get tied?"

"Where's Remus?" James asked, fidgeting with his tie. 

"I don't know." said Sirius, trying to sound casual.

James stopped and gave Sirius a look.

"What?"

"You always know where Remus is."

"Not always." Said Sirius defensively. 

"Nearly always.” James corrected. “I swear that's the reason you thought the Map was such a good idea."

"Well, I don't know where he is right now." Sirius paused, then said just noticeably quieter. "We didn't come together." 

James raised an eyebrow. "Are you guys fighting? Because, no offense, today of all days isn't the best for you guys to not be talking to each other."

"It's nothing. It will be fine. We wouldn't do anything to ruin this for you two."

"Glad to hear it. Oh this is absolute bollox." James, conceding defeat against the tie, pulled it undone, aggravated.

"Here," said Sirius, moving toward James. "Let me do it. Have you seen Lily yet?"

"No. Apparently I'm not allowed to see her until the wedding,” he said grumpily. And then in all seriousness, “Pads, what if she woke up this morning with tentacles on her face? Or she has gills? Or what if I’ve been blind this whole time and her hair is actually green? What would I do then?"

"You'd get up in front of all the people coming today and marry her anyways, you git. Of course you would. You love her."

James grinned at him, looking perfectly happy. "Yeah, I would." 

Sirius thought suddenly about Remus, wondering where he was. Something must have shown on his face, because James punched him in the shoulder. "Buck up mate. I bet you'll be next."

Sirius grinned him. "As if anyone would settle down with me. I'm lucky that Remus puts up with me. And he's constantly nagging me to put my dirty dishes in the sink."

James gave him a look, something he couldn't quite interpret. Something between curiosity and dawning knowledge. Like he knew something Sirius didn't.

There was a knock on the door. James’ father poked his head in. “Hello Sirius. Pardon the intrusion, but the guests are arriving and we’ll be starting soon.” James Potter Senior smiled as his son paled a little. “Just giving you the 10 minute warning. If you’re going to throw up, son, now would be the time to do it.” He winked at Sirius and left them.

“Cheer up mate,” said Sirius, patting James on the shoulder. “It’ll be over soon.”

James nodded, gave him a weak smile and they headed downstairs.

…

 

Remus had appeared not a moment too soon, looking extremely handsome in his suit, Sirius noted, and they all got in place. Remus was avoiding eye contact, Sirius also noticed, though as politely as possible, as only Remus could do. A couple of times during the wedding Sirius wanted to lean over and make some comment to Remus, or just give him a grin, but then he remembered they weren’t talking and it was mostly Sirius’ fault. He watched James and Lily’s wedding ceremony distractedly, almost forgetting to smile appropriately and nearly missed his cue to give James the rings. James didn’t notice, too wrapped up in staring at the radiant Lily, but Sirius didn’t miss the small frown pass Remus’ face. It quickly vanished when he saw Sirius was watching, and Sirius went back to trying to pay attention to the wedding and not think about Remus. It was exceedingly difficult. 

Sirius had always hated weddings as a kid, mostly because they were family affairs, full of pomp and circumstance, and he was expected to act proper for an exceptional amount of time. This one, despite James, was making him almost as uncomfortable. It was turning him into a sap. He’d never really thought of marriage before. He never thought of standing in front of the people you knew and loved and professing to them that you were going to spend your whole life loving this person. This one person, for the rest of your life. His brain didn’t even let him finish the question of “if there was anyone…?” It was Remus. Of course it was Remus.

He thought of standing in front of all of his friends and telling them he loved Remus and did not want anyone but him. It didn’t scare him as much as he thought it might. In fact, that eager happiness that had made him want to tell the world when he and Remus first got together flickered back. In the beginning, he had wanted to tell everyone, but hesitated. Then hesitation became doubt, doubt became fear, and fear had overcome the pride of knowing that Remus was  _his._ Sirius’ stomach churned at this realization. He wanted that pride back. He wanted that insatiable joy that he had had at the beginning again. He loved Remus. And he didn’t want to lose him. Now he just had to find a way to tell him. 

…

 

Sirius was watching Remus moodily from a distance when James nudged him in the side, causing Sirius to spill his drink. The reception was well underway, the sun down, people milling about. Remus had managed to avoid him most of the evening, except for the obligatory pictures and ceremony.

“Thanks Prongs,” Sirius growled, wiping his damp hand on the near by table cloth.

“Anytime mate. Now go apologize to him.”

Sirius stared at him. “What?”

James gestured to Remus. “Go apologize to Moony for whatever you did to make him mad.” 

“How did you…?”

“Padfoot, my dear, I’ve known the two of you for 8 years. Remus has a classic case of “I’m pissed at Sirius about something and will promptly ignore him until further notice, while still being exceedingly polite to ever one else.” I’ve seen it before. And it only happens when you’ve done something stupid. So go apologize, you prat. I’d like at least one photo this evening of the two of you genuinely happy. Also, you’ve been moping quietly by yourself for the better part of the evening, a clear sign of your guilt. If Remus had done something wrong, he’d have apologized already. He isn’t as pig-headed as you.” 

Sirius stared at him. Then sighed. “We had an argument last night. I said some stupid things. He has the right to be mad at me, Prongs. I’ll apologize, but I don’t think I can make him happy.”

James gave him an odd, considering look. “You can always make him happy, Pads. And he sure isn’t happy now.”

Sirius looked at Remus, sitting alone at the table. He was staring at the dancers on the lawn, with a mixture of dismay and longing. The perfect opportunity lay open before him, Sirius realized. Sirius sighed heavily. 

“Wish me luck, Prongs.”

…

 

Remus was trying to have a good time, he really was. Except that he had spent much of the wedding avoiding Sirius while trying to not make it apparent that he was avoiding Sirius. He was not sure he had been successful. Lily had even caught him after they had served cake to ask if everything was alright. 

Of course was alright, he had replied. How could he not be happy at their wedding? And then Lily had been pulled away and he snuck off somewhere that wasn't near Sirius. 

It's not that he didn't want to be with Sirius. If there was anyone he wanted to be with at his best friends’ wedding, it would be Sirius. But last night’s argument echoed in his brain, and honestly wasn’t sure where things stood between them. He would have even felt a bit proud of his sticking up for himself if he wasn’t so completely miserable by the fact that he had more or less given Sirius an ultimatum. He almost wanted to go talk to Sirius now, clear things up, but in his current miserable state that probably was not a good idea. He needed to stand his ground on this particular argument, or he would consider himself completely spineless for the rest of his life.

There were a few other people at the table with Remus, mostly relatives of Lily, with whom he chatted amiably for a while, but soon they left to join the others out on the lawn to dance or to top up their drinks.  So Remus sat quietly watching the dancers in the glow of the enchanted lights. 

In some foolish romantic tangent, he began to wonder if Sirius and he would ever dance together. He had seen Sirius dance on numerous occasions with some of the girls at school, so he knew Sirius knew how to dance. And Sirius could dance well. Remus figured it must have been part of that rigid pureblood upbringing that Sirius could grace across the floor, even in something as ridiculous as the lion costume someone had produced after Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup in fifth year. He sighed, laying his head in his arms on the table. This was a foolish notion. Even if he did get Sirius to dance with him, it wouldn't be here. 

"Remus?"

Remus sat up sharply, suddenly aware that he was no longer alone. It was Sirius, and he was watching Remus with intensity. 

"Sirius, I didn't see you there.." He smiled, but didn't look at Sirius directly. "Have you seen Lily? I wanted to ask her something."

"Remus!" Sirius said sharply, though there was a distinct note of panic in it. 

Remus looked him in the eye hesitantly. He didn't want to have an argument here, at James and Lily's wedding. "Yes?"

 “I’ve been a complete and utter git. I’m sorry.” Sirius paused. “Will you dance with me?" 

Remus stared. "Pardon?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to dance with me," repeated Sirius, with a bit of forced politeness. He offered Remus his hand. 

Remus didn't move. 

"Look, Moony," Sirius said, his attitude starting to get the better of him. "I'd like to dance with you but I think my nerve is going to give out pretty soon, so would you like to dance with me or not?" Sirius scowled at him, and Remus couldn't help but smile. Sirius never liked acting proper and respectable and it often made him rather less amiable if he had to do it for too long.

Remus took Sirius hand. "Yes, Sirius, I want to dance with you." Sirius seemed to sigh in relief a little, and pull him out of the chair and onto the lawn, weaving through people almost impatiently. Most people parted for them, some giving them odd looks as Sirius stopped and put his hand on Remus’s waist.

It was at this point that Remus realized there was a large miscalculation in the dancing fantasy. He didn’t have a clue what he was doing. He had never had an opportunity, nor a reason, to have to danced before, and now people were staring and knew he was going to make a fool out of himself.

Sirius seemed to realize this, and put Remus’s hand on his shoulder, and took the Remus’s other hand in his own. “Now,” Sirius said. “Just follow my lead.” And somehow, amazingly, they were dancing. Remus had the feeling Sirius had been in this situation before, having to cover for his partners ineptitude. He was doing it brilliantly.

Remus could feel the gaze of the wedding guests watching him, and he laughed nervously into Sirius’s neck.

“What’s the matter?” asked Sirius, breathing into Remus’s ear. Sirius’ hair was tickling his neck, and he realized they had never been this close in public before. Not like  _this._  They had tackled each other in fun, as brothers, as friends, but there had never been a time for such public display of affection.

“Nothing… just…

Sirius stepped back a little and gave him a look that might have panic. “I thought this is what you wanted?”

Remus gave him a patient smile. “To dance with you, of course. To tell James and Lily, and Peter even, yes. But coming out to everyone on the guest list wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“Oh,” said Sirius. “Oh. Shit.” 

“It’s fine, Sirius,” said Remus forcing himself to remain calm. He lightly nudged his nose into Sirius’ cheek, a motion that, in the past, calmed Sirius down. “It’s okay. I’m just not used to being the center of attention. Besides,” he said brightly. “Think of all those relatives of Lily’s you’re scaring.”

Sirius smiled a rather wicked smile, the thought of being troublesome, even at his best friend’s wedding, perking him up. He glanced around, as if he was looking for someone. 

“Let’s go dance right in front of Lily’s horse-faced sister!” he said gleefully. ”The only person who could possibly be more homophobic than her is Snape.”

The noise Remus made was something like a sigh and a laugh at the same time. “Have you even had a conversation with her or are you basing this off the face that she’s a muggle with a bad complexion?”

“She’s a muggle with a horrible attitude toward the wizarding world, Remus,” he said matter-of-factly. “Including her own sister. I overheard her talking to that beet-shaped mans she calls a fiancé about how rubbish this all was. She said a few things about James that I would have hexed her for if Lily hadn’t been watching. So, yes, I bet she’s completely horrified by us, and I doubt anyone will mind.”

He  was about to steer them towards them the table where Petunia was sitting when they heard James’s voice behind them.

“About time you two!” James grinned at them. He and Lily had come up to dance beside them. “Quite excellent, really! Peter owes me 5 galleons now!” He scanned the crowd for Peter, but Lily cuffed him slightly and rolled her eyes.

“Can’t believe he’d be collecting on bets at our wedding,” she sighed. “But he’s right. About time.” She patted Remus on the cheek. “Keep him around. He looks good on you.”

“Thanks Lil,” Remus said. “Sorry if we’re causing a fuss.”

Lily hrmphed. “Anyone with has a problem they can deal with me. The two of you have been like a married couple for years. We wondered how long it would take for you to tell us.”

“You knew?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“Of course! A woman has a feel for these thing!”

James, giving Lily a little twirl, said quietly to Sirius and Remus. “She’s lying. Remember last Christmas? You stayed the night and Lily came down very early in the morning to see the two of you practically glued to each other.” 

“James Potter!” Lily looked only slightly outraged. “You said you wouldn’t tell. Besides, you didn’t believe me when I told you anyways.”

“Sorry Lil,” James grinned at his wife. “Regretting marrying me already?”

“Never, darling.” She kissed him and they seemed to forget about Remus and Sirius for the moment. Sirius looked vaguely disgusted at his best friend’s vagrant display of heterosexuality.  

“Moony,” Sirius said quietly, after they realized James and Lily really had forgotten about them. “I’m really sorry about last night. The werewolf comment was… it came out wrong. I was trying to say that I was scared. Like you must have been.”

“It’s okay, Sirius. I mostly figured that out with all the time I spent not sleeping last night. Between the loose spring in the couch and the fact that I wasn’t sure myself if I had just ended things between us, I didn’t get much sleep. I’m sorry for pressuring you into this, Pads. I feel like I forced you to play your hand.” Remus frowned at him.

“Ah, but if you hadn’t, we would have never have gotten to dance at James and Lily’s wedding. So I forgive you.” Sirius smiled at him, then stopped dancing and pulled Remus close, kissing his forehead. “We’ve been a real pair of idiots, haven’t we.”

Remus laughed. “Yes, fantastically stupid.”

“Remus?”

“Yes?”

“I love you. I’m sorry I don’t tell you often.” 

Remus dropped his head to Sirius’s shoulder, wrapping his arms the other boy, making himself comfortable in Sirius’ embrace. “I love you, too, Sirius,” he said, aware that they were surrounded by people. “And I don’t care who knows it.”

 

_epilogue_

 

Remus stumbled into the flat, cold from the rain and tired from work, to be greeted by the unmistakable sound of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance" cranked to 10. He probably should have been more surprised, when he finally made it to the living room, to see Sirius in make up and a pair of impossibly tight pants. Somehow he was not.

“Sirius, what’s this?” Remus shouted over the music.

“This, my dear Moony, is David Bowie!”

“Pads, I’m not musically inept. I know it’s Bowie. I mean, why is he on full blast and why are you in that get up?”

“Do you like it?” Sirius’ painted eyebrows went up.

“I think you look ridiculous.”

Sirius grinned. “Moony, my love, now that you have mastered the fine art of the formal dance, taught by yours truly at the legendary wedding of our dear friends James and Lily, it is time for something a little bit more… challenging. If you are to get any where in the world of dancing, you must learn grace the floor with style and flair. You must learn the fine art of how to dance to David Bowie.” He gave a little flourish.

Remus stared at him. Then he started laughing so hard his knees nearly gave out.

“Was the speech too much?” Sirius asked, a bit dismayed.

Remus steadied himself by latching his fingers through Sirius’s belt loops. “You look so ridiculous.” He managed between giggles.

“This makeup took hours, I’ll  have you know.” There was a pout in Sirius’ voice.

Remus sighed out a final laugh and then bumped his forehead to Sirius’ own. “Your effort is most appreciated. Kiss me, and then I’ll let you teach me the most outlandish dance moves you want, without comment. Deal?”

Sirius just kissed him, and Remus felt himself melt. This time, though, Remus didn’t really mind.


End file.
